"It's better to be married to someone who's obsessed with hooks than to have a spouse who's into hookers," I said to Husband.
"Huh? What?" said he, looking up from the laptop.
I was dangling a sack of white, two-pronged coat-hooks in front of the screen. "What do you think about these for the mud-room cubbies?
Do you think it'll look crowded if I use 3 hooks in each cubby? They were kind of cheap. Do they look cheap?"
Cheap got his attention. "What? Oh. They're fine," he said.
I jingled the plastic bag again.
"They're awesome hooks!," he added, sensing my need for more feedback. "Great job!"
But I wasn't going to let him off the hook in regards to the hooks. "OK, so I'm obsessed!," I admitted. "Be thankful it's only hooks! Do you know how many stores I went to this week in search of hooks, door stoppers and a fireplace key with a black flange?
"No," he said. "No I don't know, but I think you're going to tell me."
"I went to six stores, seven if you count two separate Home Depots! And not one store had decent-looking door stoppers! And they're all either phasing out coat hooks or selling them at such a clip that they can't keep them in stock! You try it! You go to two Home Depots, Expo, Lowes, Renovation Hardware, Ace and Craftwood and we'll see how sane you are at the end of the week!"
"Do you want me to get you a beer?" he said, eyeing the computer again. "We have Blue Moon."
I love Blue Moon with a slice of orange, but I didn't need a beer right then. I needed the lap-top so I could search online for decorative hardware. In addition to 20 door stoppers, I need a dozen cool-looking-but-not-too-expensive coat hooks, 15 glass door knobs, one fireplace key with matching black flange and a hand-held shower nozzle that doesn't look like something Dr Frankenstein used to charge his monster. Not to forget 15 or so light fixtures, bathroom mirrors, carpet for the master suite and a retro-looking Formica counter for the laundry room.
"Yes," I said. "A beer would be great."
And while Husband was slicing the orange, I signed him off the laptop and got to work.
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